Fruition
by Red Passion Writings
Summary: Professor Alison Harkins receives an unexpected visit from an old friend, Kathryn Janeway who has recently returned from the Delta Quadrant. The old friends plan to catch up over dinner. The two women reveal their long held feelings for each other
1. Chapter 1

Professor Alison Harkins sat at the desk in her modest office in Starfleet Academy, San Francisco, Earth. Her long strawberry blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her brow slightly furrowed with concentration. Two piles of PADDs, a modified tri-corder, and a cup of black coffee sat next to her computer.

The USS Armstrong had recently returned from its mission to an unexplored sector of the Alpha Quadrant, and its captain had handed over close to twenty PADDs full of data. Her expertise had been called upon to help classify a multitude of newly described life forms, some silicon based, some based on recently discovered new elements, encountered during the mission.

A heavy teaching load at the Academy and a joint position with the Federation Council on Exobiology meant she had little time for her own research (she was an expert in comparative exobiology), let alone undertaking a mission. She had a flare for teaching and administration and was recognised accordingly for it. But deep down, she simply relished the thrill of finding, describing and cataloging life forms that were previously unknown to Starfleet. A sense of excitement rose in her belly as she opened a report on one of the PADDs.

She was lost in a field description of an invertebrate silicon-based life form when a knock on the door and, an oh so familiar voice, husky and sensual, interrupted her.

"I always knew you would make professor."

Vice Admiral Kathryn Janeway stood in in the doorway, resplendent in a newly issued command uniform, hands on her hips. A beaming smile spread across her lips. Her auburn hair fell about her attractive face in a bob and her blue eyes sparkled. The light caught the brass of the vice admiral pips on the collar of her red undershirt.

Alison was speechless for a moment then quickly gathered her thoughts. Her heart was pounding feverishly.

"Oh my god! Kathryn!" She rushed towards her visitor. "I was going to come and visit you after all the fanfare died down."

'I guess I got in first." Kathryn said smiling.

The old friends embraced. Kathryn's arms around her felt so familiar and Alison enjoyed the sensation. Kathryn's heady perfume touched her nostrils. Long buried feelings and memories of adventures together came rushing back.

It was going on eighteen years since they had met at Starfleet Academy while in their second year of training. Alison was instantly drawn to the strong willed, level headed, A grade student that was cadet Janeway. Kathryn was ambitious, Alison a steady, quiet archiver. They became inseparable, sharing quarters, pulling all-nighters fuelled by copious cups of black coffee, venturing into San Francisco and spending hours discussing exobiology, space exploration and the vastness of the universe in a little coffee shop on Market Street.

They served together as science officers on the USS Al-Batani, with Kathryn displaying her burgeoning command skills and Alison her knowledge of exobiology. Countless hours were spent on away missions gathering data and specimens, analysing reports and brainstorming complex scientific puzzles. They were suitably matched in wit and intelligence and had spurred each other on in their scientific work.

The boundaries of their friendship had blurred over the years. But complications and heartache led their lives and careers down different paths.

"It's so wonderful to see you. I'm so pleased you made it home." Alison said as they pulled away from each other.

"After seven years and all the battles with the Kazon and the Borg, I'm glad to be back in the Alpha Quadrant and here on Earth." Kathryn said, then added, with a gentler tone to her voice, "and its lovely to see you."

Alison blushed and was suddenly conscious of the mess in her office. She hurried over to her desk and tried to tidy the pile of PADDs.

"My office is a mess. Sorry." She grabbed her handbag from off a chair so Kathryn had somewhere to sit.

"At ease, Lieutenant," Kathryn joked trying to ease Alison's nervousness, "Its fine." And sat down.

Alison sat at her desk, feeling strangely formal with such an old friend. Their eyes met.

"How long has it been? 11 years?" Kathryn asked. But she knew exactly how many years it was since the two had spent time together. It was just after Mark had proposed.

"Ahhh, 10 years to be precise."

Kathryn smiled and said "It's been way too long." She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, "I thought about you a lot when I was on Voyager, and how much I missed you in my life. One of the first things I wanted to do when we got back to Earth was to come and see you."

Oh! Those words, that voice. Her resolve was starting to crack. But before Alison could respond, Kathryn spoke.

"I'm wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" Kathryn said.

"Oh... I'm so sorry, but I can't tomorrow night. I'm hosting a guest lecture from a visiting Vulcan scientist.' Why did it have to be that night Alison thought? "But I'm free on Thursday night."

"Great. Shall we meet at La Viola's, if it's still there, at 1900?"

"Well the restaurant is still there, and 1900 sounds perfect."

Kathryn stood to leave.

"I'm looking forward to hearing all about your adventures." Alison said enthusiastically.

"And I want to hear all about yours." Replied Kathryn, with a wry smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Starfleet, exobiology, and the enigmatic Kathryn Janeway were constants in Alison's life after their service together on the Al-Batani's five year mission. Advanced studies in exobiology, several survey missions and a teaching position at the Academy shaped Alison's career. Her exceptional skills in comparative exobiology attracted the attention of not only Academy faculty staff, but Starfleet as a whole, and she was offered a joint position with the Academy and Starfleet Sciences Division.

And Kathryn... dedicated, ambitious, beautiful and alluring. The aspiring young leader, accepted into the command program, rose quickly through the ranks. And in recognition of her leadership skills was given her first command on the USS Billings. Kathryn's goal of one day being the captain of her own starship was one step closer.

As the careers of two of Starfleet's rising stars flourished, so did their friendship. It had grown deeper while on the Al-Batani, and over the intervening years, missions and proximity permitting, they were lovers. In their personal lives, free from the protocol and structured life of Starfleet, they shared fleeting moments of passion and time in each other's company. Alison fell hard for Kathryn, hiding nothing of her feelings, and Kathryn returned her affections.

However, as their relationship was about to solidify and become more serious, the intricacies of the heart become infinitely more complicated for Kathryn when she met a civilian named Mark. Kathryn's attraction to women and men did not come as a surprise to Alison, as they had talked about it in their Academy days. But this was different, she was one of Kathryn's lovers. Initially, Alison felt a pang of jealousy, already having a place in Kathryn's heart, then she quietly accepted it. She believed she had no right to dictate who Kathryn was attracted to. She was content to share a part of Kathryn's life, and bed.

Dating multiple people at once had never bothered Kathryn before, but this time she was in love with her two partners. As she divided her time and attention between Alison and Mark, she began to feel torn between them and felt that her divided affections were doing them both a disservice. She wondered what effect it could have on her career.

Her service to Starfleet was such an integral part of her life and she didn't want to jeopardise that. Would two partners, and potentially one day, a wife and a husband, be detrimental to her career and progression? Laws may have changed in the mid-24th century, but being married to two people was still not readily accepted. She could not let anything rob her of her goal of being a captain and this, disconcertingly, compelled her to choose between Alison and Mark.

Contrary to her usual decisiveness, Kathryn struggled with the decision. How could she choose? Why was the little voice in her head so insistent on making a choice? Perhaps her career would recover if she continued seeing them both, but was that a long shot? She desperately wanted them both in her life.

Mark, intelligent, attentive, supportive and devastatingly handsome. And Alison, intelligent, stunningly beautiful, fiercely loyal, her companion through the rigours of life in Starfleet, and her oldest and most dearest friend. And Alison knew her inside and out. Kathryn hated the fact that she would hurt one of them when she came to her decision.

Months passed. Then one day, while reminiscing with a colleague about her time at the Academy, she reluctantly realised who she must choose. Alison had been a constant in her life since her Academy days and they had shared those experiences together. She didn't want to jeopardise their friendship and reasoned that she would prefer to have Alison as a friend than chance, even the merest possibility, of loosing Alison from her life forever if their relationship failed.

And so the day came when Kathryn planned to tell Alison of her decision. Having just returned to Earth from a mission, she wanted to put an end to her dilemma as soon as possible. As she approached Alison's office at the Academy she felt a knot in her stomach, dreading the consequences of her words. Taking charge of her emotions she switched on her command persona and walked into a situation and conversation that she knew would break Alison's heart.

The affection and enthusiasm on Alison's face upon seeing her cut through Kathryn's tough exterior like a phaser. She took a deep breath, quelled the guilt tightening her stomach, and asked Alison if she wanted to join her for a walk in the gardens.

Sitting under a spreading maple tree, Alison heard the words coming from Kathryn's mouth, but only barely. Shock and devastation engulfed her and she tried to keep her tears at bay. Grappling with the brutal reality of Kathryn's revelation, Alison felt a tightening sensation in her chest. Why did Kathryn have to choose, she wondered. Why couldn't it be her? The little voice inside her head was screaming this question, yet she remained silent.

There was nothing she could do to change Kathryn's mind, she knew that. She was not bitter nor angry, simply stunned and heartbroken. A long hug, which deepened Alison's heartache, ended the conversation and Kathryn stood to leave. Their eyes met for a moment and Kathryn mouthed 'I'm sorry,' as she turned to walk away. Somehow, Alison thought, she needed to compose herself to present a lecture to third year students in under an hour.

Trying to pull the pieces of her shattered heart back together, Alison threw herself into her work. She didn't contact Kathryn, although she desperately wanted to. She knew separation would help her heal. She cultivated a professional relationship with a scientist at the Vulcan Science Academy culminating in a series of guest lectures, a six month stint as a visiting academic and an offer of a full time teaching position for five years. She relished the opportunity of teaching amongst eminent scientists and immersing herself in a structured, emotionless existence.

Kathryn too let the months roll by without a comm message. She gave Alison time to process the end of their romantic relationship, and she was extremely reluctant for Alison to learn of her recent news. Mark and herself had become engaged, and she was so happy.

Alison and Kathryn met once more in the flesh before self preservation and space separated them for ten years. Alison had returned to Earth from Vulcan to finalise the details of her departure from Starfleet Academy and put her apartment up for rent.

On the same day she heard the news of Kathryn's engagement. A friend of a friend had accidentally blurted it out when she unexpectedly ran in to Alison at the Academy.

The news left Alison feeling a little numb, but she was determined not to let it overshadow the next step in her career. She wondered whether to congratulate Kathryn or simply leave it. She decided to seek Kathryn out, if she was in town, and take control of the 'situation.' It would give her a chance to steady her heart and emotions and bring closure to their relationship. This was the end.

It was to be a brief meeting as Kathryn had to catch a shuttle at 1800. Arriving early, Alison chose a table by the window in their old haunt, the coffee shop on Market Street, and waited. Kathryn's blue eyes had brightened upon seeing Alison, and her smile was warm and friendly.

Kathryn couldn't deny it, she thought of Alison often and missed her. They greeted each other and ordered coffee. As they waited they engaged in small talk, skirting around the undeniable romantic tension between them and the news of Kathryn's engagement.

Seeing Kathryn rocked Alison's composure. All the hard work she had done to move beyond their break-up had suddenly been undone. Momentarily she regretted seeing Kathryn, then her heart took over and she felt a pang of love and desire.

But just as suddenly her brain reminded her of Kathryn's engagement and that any passion she felt was fruitless and would send her back into her depression. She blurted out that she shouldn't have come, and stood up to leave.

Kathryn touched Alison's arm and asked her why she had to leave. Alison looked down at Kathryn then slowly sat. She took a breath and said 'because I know that you and Mark are engaged and I can't bare to witness your happiness together, it's too hard.' Alison's voice was shaky at first, then measured and stable as she gathered her emotions.

Kathryn took Alison's hand in her own and gently pulled her toward her. She still wanted Alison in her life and she told her in a husky whisper. Alison's heart pounded, but she was determined to resist. She told Kathryn that she was happy for her but that she couldn't continue to be in her life as she had been before.

As a way to close the conversation and emphasise her determination, Alison told Kathryn that she had been offered, and accepted, the position on Vulcan. Kathryn slowly loosened her grip on Alison's hand as sadness spread through her being. The very thing she had hoped to avoid, had happened. She had lost her best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Alison had picked the most accessible dress in her wardrobe. She went out so rarely now that she felt slightly over dressed. It felt a little strange, yet comfortable, being out of uniform. The restaurant was up market and elegant and she convinced herself that she had made the best choice of outfit. The long black dress was flattering. It clung to her slim figure and contrasted with her pale skin and long strawberry blonde hair.

She couldn't deny it. She wanted Kathryn to want her. Not out of spite or malice or desperation. Simply to be desired. Kathryn's miraculous return from the Delta Quadrant and surprise appearance at her office had set off a volcanic eruption of feelings and desires within Alison. She longed to see the look of desire in Kathryn's eyes, to hear her low sensual voice tell her that she wanted her, to feel the touch of her skin upon her own. Kathryn said she had missed her, and had thought about her. Oh! Could she hope? Could she dare to dream that Kathryn still felt something for her? What would Mark say? She didn't care. She was older and wiser now and didn't give a hoot anymore what Mark may have thought. Kathryn wanted to see her on her own accord. And Alison was ecstatic. Her usually steady brain was scrambled with nervousness and excitement.

Alison took a shuttle to the restaurant in Downtown San Francisco. La Viola was as elegant as she remembered. The view of the brightly lit buildings of Downtown, visible through huge windows at the front of the restaurant, was spectacular. She looked around the restaurant, admiring the sleek and simple furnishings and decor. The clientele was a mix of Starfleet brass, politicians and a smattering of 'ordinary' beings, mostly humans amongst them. Soft music played. The alcohol was expensive and the food exquisite. A waiter approached Alison and she was shown to a table in a quiet section near the window.

The hubbub that had arisen when Admiral Janeway had walked into the restaurant had died down and Kathryn sat alone. She too was out of uniform and was dressed in a blood red pantsuit with a Chinese collar, and red high heels. Her hair was loose and her lips a deep shade of red. Alison stood still momentarily admiring Kathryn. She had aged a little and her shorter hair had changed her appearance slightly. She still looked beautiful in Alison's eyes. No, stunning.

How can I resist her? Alison thought as she walked towards Kathryn. The butterflies in her stomach rose to a crescendo. It reminded her of the sensation she felt the first time they had come together as lovers. When Alison had told Kathryn that she was in love with her and Kathryn had responded with the same sentiment. Alison moved closer to the table. She caught Kathryn's attention and a smile spread across Kathryn's lips and her eyes brightened.

"You look amazing." Alison said, quietly gushing. She couldn't hide it.

"You always did know how to flatter me." Kathryn said with a wry smile.

"Because you always look wonderful." Alison said, managing to voice perfectly in order the jumble of words passing through her mind.

Alison sat opposite Kathryn.

"So do you." Kathryn said, her eyes lingering on Alison's for a moment longer.

Alison felt a tingle deep inside her. Kathryn still had that effect on her even after ten years and thousands of light years between them. She was struck by the thought that this had seemed an impossible meeting, for so many reasons. She had been on Vulcan when she learned of the devastating news that USS Voyager, and all its crew, had been lost. Shattered did not fully describe how Alison felt believing that she had lost the love of her life. She had sort guidance from her Vulcan meditation mentor, pushed through the grief and buried herself in her work. It put her aspirations into perspective. What did she have but herself and her career?

Alison returned to Earth in 2375 to the news that Voyager was not in fact lost, but was stranded in the Delta Quadrant, over fifty thousand light years away. Kathryn was alive! Mixed emotions, glimpses of hope and brutal reality. Kathryn may have been alive, but it was highly unlikely that Alison would ever see her again. It was three years later that Voyager made it home to Earth. The day the starship triumphantly returned to San Francisco, and Alison's first glimpse of Kathryn, were etched in her memory. And a spark in her heart was reignited.

Alison took a deep breath to steady herself and suggested ordering some wine. Kathryn signalled to a waiter who approached their table and took their order. The waiter left and they were alone.

"I was so surprised to see you at my office the other day." Alison said.

"I wanted to surprise you." There was a slight drop in Kathryn's voice. "And I wanted to see you."

Their eyes met. She felt Kathryn's looking deep into her soul. She felt intensely drawn to Kathryn. Alison took a sip of wine, and another.

"I wanted to see you too."

Of course she did! She had found some closure to their past romance and she wanted to see Kathryn again. This brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous woman who had triumphed against the most impossible odds and gotten her ship and crew back in almost one piece. The emotion rose in Alison's throat. She felt as though she was on the precipice of telling Kathryn she still loved her. Was she ready to reveal her feelings so soon?

"You must have so many stories to tell from the Delta Quadrant. Tell me some..." Alison said deflecting the conversation.

"I don't want to bore you. I'm sure you have heard it all through Starfleet. Some of it is still classified."

Kathryn was reluctant to talk about it. She had detailed their encounters with the Borg, the Kazon, the Vidiians and others with Starfleet Command for days on end after their return. She had been grilled for her bending of the prime directive and their dealings with the crew of the USS Equinox. Comm messages from news agencies, celebrities, colleagues and her family had been constant. She had visited her family in Indiana for five days then blacked out time in her diary for the one person had yet to see. Alison.

"You won't bore me. But perhaps you could tell me more about working with Starfleet Command."

"It's a desk job really..." She was being honest. It wasn't ideal. She would miss being in charge of her own starship and crew. But it was the next step.

"I miss the adventure too. I'd give anything to be on an away mission making first contact with a new lifeform."

"I have to be honest, I read your personnel file before calling in on you the other day. I wanted to know what you had done since I saw you last." Alison wasn't surprised. If Kathryn wanted to know something, she would find out. "I'm impressed."

The intonation in Kathryn's voice filled Alison with pride.

"It might not be the same as an away mission," said Kathryn, "but Starfleet, well I, would like you to look over our data on the lifeforms we encountered in the Delta Quadrant. We have teraquads of data on over one hundred new alien species that needs analysis and cataloging. I can be your liaison."

Alison's eyes brightened at the prospect. And the chance to work again with Kathryn.

"I would love to."

Kathryn smiled.

"Fantastic. Now I want to know more about your time on Vulcan."

They ordered their meals, more wine and Alison spoke of her time on Vulcan and at the Vulcan Science Academy. Her experiences on Vulcan had changed her. She was more dedicated to her work, more measured with her emotions and more confident in herself. She told Kathryn nothing of her heartache nor struggles. Kathryn spoke of the pressures of command as they browsed the dessert menu. Then they came to the subject they both wanted answers to but were reluctant to bring up, matters of the heart.


End file.
